“You can have it all.”
One of my favorite courses during my undergrad was an introductory course on Industrial Design.
Admittedly, if I had known about Industrial & Product Design earlier on, I probably would have chosen that over Interior Design as a major. However, my university (at the time) didn’t offer a major centered around it.
It was here that I met one of the people that I first ever considered a “mentor.”
I mean, I had heard the term tossed around by the guru of the week on Youtube or whatever “Shovel Seller” I was binging at the time, but this was the first person I saw, and the concept clicked immediately.
David Rodriguez- Francis was a guest professor for the trimester and I was immediately fascinated by him. His overall demeanor was completely different than that of the other professors. He wasn’t snide or full of himself, yet could still deliver with criticism that was absolutely sharp and constructive. You could feel immediately that this was derived from a vast amount of experience in an interdisciplinary field. He had style. Talked about his family often, in a genuinely loving manner. Drove around a beautiful Porsche Cayenne… It was the role-model a little sproutling wantrepreneur Joshua Pagan needed at the time.
Now, I’m usually pretty reserved, but I did the scary thing and I struck up a conversation. I asked him about his life and career.
He blew my mind! He was an artist, professional designer and owner of his own firm or two, he had studied and taught at a wide variety of universities and countries, and he would travel OFTEN. I know these are things that could sound a little superficial, but they were all boxes that I wanted to check off at some point in my life, and my little delusional self of the time felt it was right around the corner.
It was towards the end of a handful of the course that he hit me with a casual
“… you can have it all.”
A response to some throw-away remark of mine of having to let go of one thing or another.
“You can have it all, Joshua.”
This reverberated in my mind and became ingrained into every fiber of my being. It became a mantra. I’m sure that without this phrase or my partner, I would have probably never finished my bachelors. However, as an ambitious procrastinator, this became something negative.
The mentorship never really blossomed, mostly cause I never took the leap of asking. Nor did I really keep touch with him.
For many years after the course, I’d repeat the mantra. I’d write it down in my notebooks whenever I’d enter the Wantrepreneurial Cycle of Motivation. I’d daydream of the money, cars, fame, and other superficial nonsense that came with it.
It became a curse.
It for many years I took it in a literal and honestly greedy sense.
I genuinely wanted it all.
…
I’ve been thinking a lot about mentors and this phrase. As I’ve been taking steps forward in this journey, I’ve also found myself in a process of self-reflection.
I’ve spent years repeating the phrase but I never questioned it. What does it mean to have it all? What even is “ALL”?
And it was this last question that illuminated the whole crux of how I’ve been misusing this powerful tool.
I had never really taken a minute to define “ALL.” In other words, I never stopped to think about what would be “enough.”
It was at this moment where the mantra emerged fully baked.
“You can have it all when you define what is enough.”
Instead of a vague and frustrating “ALL” you have to have what I calling a Baseline of Success. These are guidelines for whenever you feel lost in the sauce of ambitions to take a quick pause and reflect on what you have achieved and how far you’ve come.
Let me give you some examples of Baselines of Success:
Paying for meals without stressing about price. I only look at the reciept to verify items and calculate tips.
Never worrying about filling up my tank of gas.
Paying off my bills at the start of the month and not having to break it up throughout every paycheck and "surviving.”
Being in charge of when I need to come into the office.
Not having to worry if I have to miss a day for medical or important reasons.
I have achieved two of these, am close to hitting the third one consistently after working through some money habits, and still have to work on the last two.
However, whenever I feel like I should be further along, I think back to when I worked coffee shops (the second time around) and couldn’t afford weekly date nights. Or I think about how every trip to the gas station was riddled with a metric fuck ton of anxiety. Or maybe the fact that I only earned enough to only pay bills and those “treat yourself” moments landed on credit cards.
Now, I’m still working on defining these baselines, but the crystallization of “enough” has been instrumental in realizing that I can, in fact, have it all. I simply have to define what “ALL” is and get after it.
How do you interpret “You can have it all” & what are some of your Baselines of Success? If you don’t have any, what would you like them to be?
Thank you for reading,
Joshua Pagan | 04/30/2024
