Wheel of Life Analysis

I’ve recently been on an Ali Abdaal binge. Admittedly, in hopes that I could find some secret sauce for this blog endeavour.

There is none. Only keeping on keeping on, and figure it out as you go, haha.

Lack of secret sauce aside, I came across a concept that piqued my interest. Abdaal’s “Wheel of Life” is a tool that is supposed to give you a high-altitude snapshot of where you are in life.

This can help you decide which areas of your life you might actually be doing better than expected, while revealing areas of your life that have been held up by duct-tape, prayers, and “good vibes.”

While I had a bit of an idea of what could use some work, I’m the type of person that leaves things in an intangible void and it’s not until it’s written down and “made real” that I’m able to properly come up with a plan of attack.

Sometimes the answer is obvious, other times, not so much. But… enough about that.

Lets take a look at my results.

Oooff… That’s a little grim.

I want to begin with the positives. Family, Friendships, & Romance:

I’m extremely lucky to say that I have a wonderful support system in the people who surround me.

If anything, I’d say that their scores aren’t higher because I tend to be more reserved and don’t reach out enough. Something that can sometimes be a point of friction in my romantic relationship, since I have a self-imposed Atlas complex, but I’m happy to say that it’s something I’m ACTIVELY working on. But, I’ll circle back to relationships in a later blog. I feel like many people talking about these specific topics are giving those coming up now some genuinely trash advice… For both Platonic & Romantic Relationships.

In short though. I truly can’t complain about these three categories. I just wish I could spend more time with them.

Now, the lowest scored category of the quiz: Personal Growth.

I find it a little funny that as soon as I typed up “Personal Growth” in the previous line “Numb” by Linkin Park started playing. While the meanings of songs can be subjective, when I sing along to this song, the emotion is coming from un-met expectations in myself.

I think, I’m harder on myself than anyone else. Sure, this may be a common sentiment, but with good reason. No one knows just how much we can give than ourselves. We can lie to others and give excuses, but deep down we know we could have done a little bit more, or just SOMETHING at all. Anything.

While it may be good to hold one’s self accountable, we should refrain from beating down and borderline abusing ourselves into action. What I mean is, separate that inner voice from yourself. How would you react if someone else was saying those things to you?

You may recognize the kernels of truth in those inner monologues, but how would you wish those things were said in a way that would actually help you to take action? In other words, what “voice” works for you?

I’m so far behind in this category because for years the inner voice in my head was one of pure judgement and resentment. Recently, I took a step back and kinda came to the conclusion that, if it hasn’t worked before, why would it work now? So I’ve decided to switch it up to the “dream coach” type voice I’ve always needed and am happy to say that I’ve been slowly chipping away at the things that need to get done for me to be, at the very least, headed in the right direction of where I believe I can be.

I think the best example of this can be found in the next category: Body.

I’ve never been happy with my body…

When I was a teenager and in my early 20’s, I was always hovering around the 180lbs and sometimes could go up to 190lbs.

I always had stubborn belly fat and use to think I was morbidly obese. However, at this weight, I used to be able to run 5K’s no problem and do yoga (limber as a brick, but still.)

The point is that I felt horrible.

I then joined the Marine Reserves and then went down to 159lbs and still couldn’t get rid of the belly fat, but I was a machine. When I ran, it almost felt like at any moment I’d begin flying from how beautifully my body was performing.

However, thing’s kinda began falling apart in my academic and personal life at the time and thus began a decade long spiral into oblivion.

It’s the first time I’m ever admitting this.

But at my worst… I ended up putting on a whole-ass second Josh of weight. From my lowest of 159lbs, I rose to my heaviest…

320lbs…

We can go into specifics some other time, but saying that my relationship with food is akin to that of an addict and their vice is the most accurate descriptor I’ve managed to land on. Shame Cycle and everything.

But, I digress, haha.

This spiral was locked in to continue for however long my body could handle which, probably wouldn’t have been much longer. However, as I mentioned before, the self-talk was instrumental in that cycle, perpetuating how I felt and instigating the shame, and unfortunately, perpetuating my comfort habits.

I’ve been able to ease up on the “I’m a fuckin’ monster” talk and have gotten to the point where I can say “I’m not happy with where I’m at, but that isn’t an excuse to hate myself…” What I am happy to say is that with my recent changes, I have begun to make big changes in my relationship with food, and have begun to lose weight properly.

I’d say this change in perspective is a decent segue into Mind.

If it wasn’t because I’ve been putting in the reps with my mental state, I think I’d be lost in the sauce completely.

Whenever I felt lost or out of control, I’d try stopping myself and take into account the things I could control and do those things to gain a semblance of control.

Sure, a lot of the times while I had good intentions, I’d still end up electing self-destructive behaviours. However, I did end up getting a lot of mental tools, language, and perspective that is now helping guide me back to a more overall healthy lifestyle, physically and emotionally. I actually expect this score to increase faster than the rest as time goes on. Especially while I’m now choosing to be kinder to myself while still holding myself accountable to future Josh.

However, I’m unsure if it’ll be as simple for the next category: Mission/Career.

I’d say that second only to body, career is the thing that that I’ve struggled with the most and by consequence, money as well. (but we’ll get to money shortly.)

I’ve worn many hats in my professional and academic career. In fact, I’m sure that in my friend group I’ve changed majors and jobs the most. As with the majority of the other categories, I’m going to give you a guided deep-dive into this category some other day, but in a nutshell…

I always wanted to be an engineer and inventor, with grand aspirations. When that academic path didn’t exactly pan out, I bounced around, ambitions in tow. As previously mentioned, I joined the USMC-Reserves, I went back to college, bounced around some more, got a bachelors in Interior Design, got licensed as a Real Estate Broker (Puerto Rico), moved to Florida shortly after, got my insurance license and sold door to door (This job was a fucking nightmare and wouldn’t recommend it to even my worst enemy)…

In short, I just haven’t settled down enough anywhere to set roots nor have I (to this point) dug deep enough and mustered enough grit to commit to something like this Blog or Youtube to see it through to some form of monetization. Of course, we’re actively trying to change that now, hahaha.

Offline, I think the closest I ever came to a “dream job” was the only time I actually used my bachelor’s degree.

I helped a carpenter design themed bedrooms for Airbnb’s. I was there a month until I learned that the reason he was hesitant to give me the full-time position wasn’t because we were in a “recession and jobs were drying up,” but because he had recieved a better qualified application. Which was fine, I just wish he would have been straight forward instead of leading me on and me finding out through an email. But, hey! That’s life.

While I’ve yet land another “dream position,” I can say that at the very least, I’m glad I’ve been able to work my way out of sales and into something more structured and “safe.”

Many gurus online will roll their eyes at that sort of sentiment, but the reality is survivorship bias is a real bitch and many people aren’t part of the “exceptions” but are part of the statistic. For example, for every Jason Oppenheim or Ryan Searhant, I’m sure there’s a million different realtors/agents who’re barely cracking anything higher than a McDonalds salary.

So I’m happy with my steady job and steady paycheck, while I keep chipping away at debt and at this side hustle.

Which of course, leads us to: Money.

I was actually pretty good with money right up til covid.

Pre-Covid, I was living in Puerto Rico working 2 jobs through my bachelors.

I was a solid barista at my favorite coffee shop, ($8.50 for about 32hrs/week) which coincidentally landed me a job as a brand ambassador for a luxury counter-top appliances brand ($20 for 20hrs/week). At this time, I learned about Graham Stephan and began sorting my finances and getting into credit cards.

Now, initially people kind of cringe at that but, when the shop closed down and I got furloughed, my income and savings dried up. For some reason that escapes me, I was ineligible for unemployment during covid, so I racked up a metric-fuckton of debt, surviving off of minimum monthly payments, and finally the hail-mary moment was when I swiped the card to leave PR’s strict covid enforcement for Florida in hopes of just being able to work and correct the course on my finances.

It took me a whole election cycle, but again, I’m happy to say that I’m now financially stable and on track to being debt free in about 2 years.

I’m also working on building a good financial buffer and saving for retirement.

A little late to that party, but mark my words I’ll be “retired” in one way or another by 50. Working cause I want to, not cause I have to.

In any case, while I have a decent grasp of budgeting, part of me has been eyeing Caleb Hammer’s budgeting program to review. So, who knows? Might do that soon depending (ironically) if the budget allows. Haha!

…unless Caleb wants to toss a code my way… 👀

Anyway… on to the last two. Beginning with Soul.

You might be a little disappointed to learn, after such a long read, that I’m not really going to dive into this topic yet, or even, ever in this blog.

1. Typically people don’t really “get it.”

2. People have their own pre-conceived notions of “it.”

Regardless, this topic for now feels like a landmine in any situation.

Which finally leads us to: Joy.

I think with everything we’ve covered so far, it’s pretty easy to see why this is sitting at 45%.

From a bird’s-eye-view, I'm seeing that while I am working on thing, there’s still a whole lot that needs to be done.

The Wheel of Life exercise has been eye-opening for me and, like I said. I had an inkling of all of this beforehand. Writing it down, taking a moment to really think about it has lit a fire in me to keep pushing forward and getting those numbers up to a passing grade and beyond.

One topic I didn’t really cover are hobbies and the little things that keep me sane and recharge my social, emotional, and professional batteries.

My partner and I have taken a lot of joy in the fact that we now have some disposable income as well as weekends together to go out and explore Florida and it’s different niche towns and events, as well as planning small-scale weekend trips within reason (Mexico, here we come!)

I’m also making more of an effort to meet my friends and family whenever possible to break away from the routine, and just to catch up. Sometimes we get swept up in our own lives and its good to pause and enrich our lives in community and new experiences.

Let’s also not forget that, while it’s definitely good to have a goal, north star, destination… whatever! … don’t forget to enjoy the journey. It’s cliche, but it’s cliche for a reason.

Whether we notice or not, we often have a mindset of “I’ll be happy when…” or “I won’t be happy until…” which leads to us letting our dissatisfaction with one or two aspects (or a handful of them like my little wheel) ruin our whole day… month… year… lifetime.

Instead, I beg you, take the time to evaluate where you’re at. Tally the good and the bad, and see how you can improve. Make a plan. Take action. Know and trust that you CAN improve. And most importantly, enjoy life as its happening.

Feel free to comment down below or via twitter with your results.

What’s the one that you’re gonna hit hard these coming months?

I think I’m gonna get my finances down to a more automated system along with focusing on dropping the weight. But, we’ll talk about that next time. Haha.

Thank you for reading this mega blog,

Joshua Pagan | 04/22/2024